Stages

Monotonous: [mo-not-o-nous-]
: lacking in variety, tedious, humdrum, boring, dull.

I am officially a stage 2 missionary!! Now for those of you who

 have no idea what I'm talking about let me explain. Yesterday was a rough day. It started off slow and ended slower. As I was going about my afternoon work supervision it hit me, "Am I really going to do this for the next 9 months?!! Am I going to wake up and do the exact same thing everyday?!!"  Now later that afternoon during supper I asked Jessica these questions. She began to laugh hysterically and asked me if I remembered anything from my student missions class. I decided to be humble and give her my honest answer of "not really........" She loudly blurted out "Your In Stage 2"!!!!! She explained that the first couple weeks of missionary life is called the honeymoon stage where everything is new, exciting, and fun. You are very intrigued by the new culture and everything is so interesting. Then everything comes crashing down. You realize that you do mostly the same things everyday. You can't just get up and go places like you can in America. You can't just pick up your cell phone and call someone. You can't just say "hey Rich let's go play some one-on-one over at Calvert". You become depressed and wonder why in the world you are where you are. Supposedly the length of this stage varies from person to person. Stage 3 is when you begin to accept where you are, the culture, the way of life, and also the monotony of it all. It becomes your way of life and you actually may begin to enjoy it. I'm working hard to get to this stage.
    

Hope the ankle is healed and your ballin outta control bro.

        

      Now who ever thought that learning people's names could be so hard. I forget names just as much as the next person but for the most part I can remember the names of people that I see every day. I have come to the conclusion that if I know the Deng's and the Mina's I'm in good shape. I think at least half the school is comprised of these names. Now this is an obvious exaggeration but try putting different faces to all these names in your class: Deng Deng, Deng Francis, Deng Mayol, Deng Pal, Deng Garang Deng, and Deng Mayol Deng!!!! Easy enough you say. But that's not all. How about: Mina Beshara, Mina Emile, Mina Farid, Mina Helmy, Mina Mahewae, and Mina Samir. (Those are all boys names by the way) I know at some point this semester one of them is going to get a grade that was meant for someone else.

        I have come to some very important conclusions since I have been here. I was feeling very lost when it came to my spiritual life before I came here and I won't deny that being here has tested me even more. I do feel though that God has been talking to me a lot through other people and situations. I am a very "feelings" oriented person. This gets me in trouble a lot because feelings can change at a moments notice. When someone pours the foundation for a building, is that foundation going to change weather it's hot, cold, loved, depressed, sick, healthy, or just plain sick of life? No. Yes it may shift if the ground beneath it is not stable. Or it may be uprooted in a tornado and shattered into a million pieces. But it's still just concrete. Whether it's a block or a million pieces it's still just concrete.       My beliefs are my beliefs. They are not changed by people, circumstance, or my feelings at a certain moment.    God is God. He is not changed by people, circumstance, how I feel about him, or who I think he is at a single point in time. He is there when I "feel" he is there and when I don't "feel" he is there. God is not understood or figured out. He's just God. You either believe he is there or you don't. Because if you only believe God is there when you feel he is there than you will end up feeling the way I have felt for the past couple years. I could count the times that I have truly felt God's presence in my life on one hand. Does that mean I'm less of a christian or that I don't believe in him? No. Now I will say that I have been through situations and events where, after the fact, I have looked back and seen how God led me and guided me. I have seen how he has worked in my life in the past. But even if I don't see him working. Even if I don't know why my life is going in a certain direction or taking this path, I will still believe. Because what life would you rather live? A life full of worry, distrust, and wondering if he's really there until the day that it's too late? Or a life that may not always give you the answers, it may not always be easy or understood, but because you believe full heartedly in something greater, something that is all powerful and will give you the desires of your heart, you will have peace. You can live of life peace knowing that you don't always need to understand. You don't always need to have the answer. All you need to know and believe is that he is there and he wants to be a part of your life.